Friday, April 20

Can't Fight the Feeling

By Scot McElwaney
www.bmxonline.com

I'm not really sure when, why, or how the idea to do this article popped into my head, although I'm fairly positive it was one day when I was pedaling around West Los Angeles trying to find something new to ride. It was probably one of those days when I had a lot on my mind, so I grabbed my bike and headed out.

I've noticed lately that whenever I get on my bike, I quit thinking about all the crap going on in my life and just focus on riding. I kind of relate it to my old comic book collection. You see, I was a big fan of Spiderman comics when I was a kid, but second to Spidey was Superman. Now, Superman had a lot on his mind, being that he was responsible for keeping Metropolis safe and sound. Whenever his troubles seemed to be too much to handle, he would fly to his "Fortress of Solitude." No one but Superman knew where the "Fortress of Solitude" was, so he was able to escape his troubles for a while, spend time by himself and clear his head.

Brian Foster shows a little bit of that soulful style at Hidden Valley Trails.

Lately, this is what I've been relating my riding to, which makes a lot of sense because I've done about 99 percent of my riding alone over the past year. Even when I was riding at Lake Perris with a few pros during a private session, I noticed that I would always go to the section of the park that no one else was riding. Everyone else stayed in a group most of the time, and whenever that group would gravitate towards the section of the park I was riding, I would make my way over to a vacant area of the park.

I thought about that a lot when I was driving home that afternoon. It used to be that I rode my bike because it was a way for me to hang out with my friends and have fun. But since I moved to California a little over a year ago, things have changed a lot for me. I don't have the same group of friends that I spent the majority of my BMX life with, and I'm not all that comfortable riding with pros, since I'm nowhere near their riding level. So, I've spent a lot of time alone on my bike. In solitude.

The strange thing is that I have come to enjoy riding alone, and I'm not too sure that I enjoy riding with other people that much anymore. I don't like the fact that I feel that there are critical eyes judging how I ride a bike. I mean, come on, it's riding a bike. Who cares if someone isn't "pro" as long as they enjoy being on their bike? I didn't feel that I was judged this way when I was still living in Athens, Ga., and maybe I shouldn't feel that way now, but I do. And after hearing all the drama and rumors that surround the SoCal soap opera that BMX has become, I just don't care to be a part of it anymore. So I ride alone, and I enjoy it that way. My bike is my "Fortress of Solitude."

Granted, this hasn't really helped my progression as a rider, but I think I've gotten past that stage in my life. Now when I ride, I just want to do whatever I want to do. I don't want to do big gaps or crazy tricks to impress anyone. I just want to play around and enjoy my sketchy-ass style the way I always have. When you ride with friends that you've had for years, you don't feel pressured to perform, and things just come naturally. But when you ride with people that you don't know that well, you feel obligated to "step up," and you mold your riding to what you perceive they think it should be. I just don't want to do that anymore. So I ride by myself, which has given me a lot of time to reflect on riding and the different feelings I get from it.

Riding gives me a mixture of emotions. There is fear, excitement, satisfaction, elation and pain (lately I've felt a lot of pain thanks to two blown knees). I think that riding a bike produces the entire spectrum of emotions. You can feel them all at once, or you may only experience one at a time. It all depends on the day and what is going on. It also depends on the rider.

I think that every rider gets a different feeling from riding a bike; that's how it should be. After all, we are individuals, and individuals think and feel for themselves. While I was thinking about this, I got the idea to put 13 pros on the spot and ask them to describe the feeling they get from riding a bike. I didn't give them any time to think about it because I didn't want anyone to come up with a prepared answer. I wanted them to tell me the first thoughts and feelings that came to them. What came out was pretty interesting and I think it shows that we all experience BMX in our own way.

No matter what kind of riding you do, you take something from it. Here some AA Pros bang it out for first place.

John "Luc-E" Engelbert (Standard)
"When you were a kid and you start riding bikes, you have that feeling that you can go wherever you want. It was like your first car almost; you could just grab it and pedal wherever you want. But now it's different. It's hard to explain. I just need to shred. It's a must to bust."

Brian Foster (Airwalk/Fit)
"My first thought was 'fun.' My second thought was 'scared.' It's fun and never-ending because there's always something to do, always something new to learn."

Duncan Gore (Schwinn/RGXS)
"I just get psyched every time I ride, because I'm so lucky to get to ride my bike and do something that I love. I still have the same drive that I did when I was a kid. I can't wait to wake up and ride all day long. That's all I want to do. So, [psyched] is how I feel."

Aaron Behnke (We The People)
"I feel pure enjoyment from just pedaling around and the freedom to do whatever I want to do on my bike."

Neal Wood (S&M)
"Enjoyment, happiness, just doing my own thing. It doesn't seem like for that moment while you're riding you have a care in the world. Any worries you've got on your mind, you just forget about while you're riding. It's been the same way since I was 14, so I keep doing it."

Troy McMurray (S&M)
"It depends on the day, but if it's a good day, then it's just clear skies and happiness. Bad days are a feeling of blue skies and rainfall."

Leif Valin (Hoffman)
"The feeling I get from riding a bike isn't always the same. It varies from extreme satisfaction to extreme frustration. It's like anything, I guess. If you like it, there's going to be good and there's going to be bad. At best, it's the best thing in the world, and at worst, you're just frustrated."

Robbie Miranda (DK/1-800-COLLECT)
"The feeling I get when I ride my bike is an instant rush. Sometimes it's hard to pedal, sometimes it's easy to pedal. The days when it's easy to pedal are the better days, because I'm ready to ride. But it's always fun; it's never bad."

Mat Hoffman (Hoffman)
"It's a feeling of controlled chaos, trying to be on the fence of controlled and out of control. 'Controlled chaos' is my best definition."

Adam Strieby (Redline)
"I guess we're talking about the feeling you get right after you've done a good stunt or something. For me that would be it, so it's a feeling of self-satisfaction. A lot of times, on a bad day, I'll really be bummed, and a lot of times my attitude is affected by how I'm riding. If I'm having a bad day riding, I'll have a bad day in general. But riding good gives me a good feeling that I've accomplished something. I guess it's a desire for self-satisfaction and striving for perfection, and, in a word, 'fun,' but it's more than that. A lot of times you'll try a trick over and over until you get it exactly right, and then you can ride away from it feeling super-good."

Adam Streiby, 360 table.

Matt Pohlkampb (Schwinn/RGXS)
"I get mixed feelings. An adrenaline rush is one thing, but I also feel comfort and satisfaction."

Jerry Bagley (Mosh)
"Happy, sad, mad ... it all depends on if I crash or not."

Joe Rich (Terrible One)
"It's a feeling that I need for the day. For me it's always been about being able to overcome things that you didn't think were possible and achieve goals that you weren't quite sure if you could do or not. It's just being able to prove to yourself that you can do whatever you want if you put your mind to it. To me, there's no better feeling, and that's pretty much what my life is loosely based around. I think that a lot of things suffer because that's the feeling that I need, and I'm not ready to give it up yet. I don't know how anything else could compare to it because out of all the other stuff I've seen or done there's nothing that comes close. I don't know why that is, it's just the way it is. It's just what I need to do to feel right."