Dave Mirra came in first, Ryan Nyquist took second, Dennis McCoy took third, same ol' sh$#. The real battle - literally - was between fourth and fifth, as Chad Kagy and Allan Cooke duked it out to see who was the real "guy who almost placed."

It was the craziest thing I've ever seen. Kagy was on fire, riding really hard and using the entire course like no one else. For the penultimate trick in his first run, he threw one of his trademark huge superman seat grabs and the crowd went wild. Allan, on the other hand, was throwing down a little madness of his own, riding the same style Hoffman bike as Kagy. One sweet barspin back-flip and a nothing-double seat grab and the people of Louisville knew what he came there to do - kick ass! Kagy took fourth in the final by a fraction of a point, but that didn't stop Cooke from doing what he had to do.

I've seen a lot of bike contests, but when Allan grabbed that industrial drill with the 14" bit and Kagy ripped a piece of coping off the quarter-pipe and starting battling, I realized that there's a certain influence the South wields to make men do strange things. Everyone knows that bike guys are tough, but I couldn't believe that anyone, even Allan Cooke, could take that many solid hits to the head with a steel pipe and not go down. Sure, Kagy has a couple good sized holes in him from the power drill, but anybody that watches professional wrestling knows that the guy with the biggest foreign object wins the royal rumble.

In the end, it was Kagy that walked away with the coveted "guy who almost placed. " Although Cooke did take a solid beating, in an exclusive post-comp interview with EXPN, he came clean.

"What can I say? I was a little chapped and Kagy was just standing there smiling" said Cooke. "I'm a little bruised right now, but I should be in great shape by the time the X Trials roll into Texas next month." As he was being carried away by fellow rider Colin Mckay, he added, "Next time I'm gonna get medieval on him".

NOTE: If you believe any of the above, other than the overall results, you need to learn the harsh lesson that you can't believe anything you read on the Internet.

Bike Stunt Street Finals:
1. Dave Mirra
2. Ryan Nyquist
3. Dennis McCoy
4. Chad Kagy
5. Allan Cooke
6. Colin Mackay
7. Tom Haugen
8. Rob Nolli
9. Seth Kimbrough
10. Dave Osato


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